Woe is Me

I am going to take this time to apologize to the country of Netherlands and all of those faithful Dutch fans out there. I should never have fallen in love with this team since all of my sports teams let me down on a regular basis. The Bengals haven’t had a playoff win since 1991. The Reds last won a World Series in 1990 (Wire-to-Wire, baby!) and were recently no-hit in their last playoff appearance. My college teams have consistently raised and then subsequently crushed my hopes. US Soccer has been improving in the 2000s, but cannot breakthrough into the top ranks of the world. Even the Women’s team, who has dominated the world, lost to Japan after an amazing run last summer in the World Cup. Even my crutch, Manchester United, came in second to their cross-town archenemies in the most devastating manner last month.

My love affair with Netherlands began when I saw their famous orange uniforms in the late 1990s, especially with Edgar Davids looking awesome in his dreads and goggles. Since orange is my color, this was a natural fit (especially since US Soccer was a joke at the time). However, my fandom has been a curse to this team. They have lost in heartbreaking fashion every two years in the Euros and World Cups, including not even qualifying for the 2002 World Cup.

After their loss to Spain in the 2010 World Cup Final, I was under the assumption that they would come back in this competition with a fire to avenge that loss like Robert Downey, Jr. I was wrong. They flopped against Denmark, the supposedly weak team in the Group of Death, then disappeared against their hated rivals, Germany, on Wednesday. They’re sitting ugly in last place, hoping that they can pair a victory over Portugal with a German win over Denmark on Sunday to move on.

This tall task can only belong to one of my teams. I continuously question my love of sports because my teams treat me so poorly. There are four gray hairs on my head, and I’m pretty sure they are a result of sports and not my grad school workload. There is a nonstop debate in my head to give up rooting for certain teams, but then my heart steps in as the voice of love and stops that nonsense.

For now, I will continue to complain about my teams and hope that the sports gods will have some mercy (I mean, COME ON!). So please, this Sunday, as you tune into the Euro Cup and see that orange-clad team trying to claw its way back, have pity for me as I watch with white knuckles and gritted teeth.